#33 August 5th, 2018: “I don’t want to lose the kids” #1yearagotodayCW

Towards the end of the weekend, on Sunday afternoon, Shan’ann texts her husband, asking him if he wants to visit his grandmother on Monday [August 6th]. Bear in mind, up to this point Watts had been in North Carolina almost a week, and spent almost all of that time with Shan’ann, the kids and her parents.

According to Sandi Rzucek’s typed statement, Frank was with the couple while they were in Myrtle Beach, and a day and a half later Sandi joined them too. So here we are, with two days left of his vacation, and by the end of the first weekend Shan’ann suggests to her husband he might want to go and see his grandmother? Does he want to do that tomorrow?

Watts said yes, he did want to see his Maw Maw, and was hoping to see his folks too.

Notice the craven language he uses.

“I was hoping both. If not that’s ok too. I wanted to see Maw Maw in the morning if possible.”

Shan’ann will decide who her husband sees, and if and when that happens. But she also lays down the law. He must go and see his family alone. She’s not going, and neither are the kids.

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In this simple act Shan’ann is demonstrating early warning about her attitude to custody. It’s also 100% accurate because later in the timeline she tells her pals she will fight for full custody if it comes to that.

About ten minutes later Watts pitches the idea of taking the girls to see his grandmother. But he’s also considerate, saying he doesn’t want to leave them without a car.

Shan’ann’s having none of it. She puts him in his place for having the temerity to even ask her such a thing. Her health is suffering because of this stress. She’s not kidding! She instructs him [and indirectly his parents] when to pick him up – when the kids are asleep, after dark. In other words, she’s perfectly happy to leave him seeing his folks until the end of the day.

Five minutes later Watts is insistent but also carefully obedient. He tells Shan’ann he really wants the kids to see Maw MAw, and promises to make sure there will be zero chance anyone will see them. These words have an ominous ring to them, given the events of exactly week later, Sunday night in Colorado.

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At 20:28 Shan’ann tries to corral her husband with a convenient quote. It’s about husbands protecting their wives. Watts is advised to always take his wife’s side. Given that Watts was embroiled in an affair at this point, this quotation likely didn’t have the sort of impact that an ordinary conversation could have. But it seems later that evening that was on the cards regardless.

Between talking Shan’ann sends more long texts to her husband. Bear in mind they’re in the same time zone, the same town, the same house, probably not the same room though.

At 22:24 [the quote having failed apparently to solicit the right response], Shan’ann tries guilting him. The kids don’t deserve a broken family. [Later she will ask him if he would stay with her if they didn’t have kids]. Late on Sunday night, the penny is dropping that Watts isn’t just unhappy about his dad, or about Nut Gate, or about the situation with the children not seeing his parents, he’s not happy about her. Five days into his trip and Shan’ann’s finally figured out that Watts isn’t in love with her, and she can’t figure out why?

“I don’t know how you fell out of love with me…”

At this point it’s probably worth noting comments made both by Watts’ mother Cindy and Shan’ann’s mother Sandi. Early on during their relationship, Cindy observed how Watts and Shan’ann interacted. Whatever she saw prompted her to say to Sandi:

“I just don’t see it.”

Meaning, she couldn’t see how Shan’ann loved her son.

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Sandi was livid at this observation, but what we can clearly see in the events of August 5th is a sort of passive-aggressive attitude – on Shan’ann’s part. She wears the pants, she calls the shots, it’s her way or the highway. When she finally figures out how much her controlling, domineering attitude has stung her husband, she has absolutely no idea why.

She then borrows strength out of the fact that husbands in general ought to do X, and because of the children, he ought to do Y. Shan’ann not only doesn’t listen to him, she doesn’t grant him the opportunity to be himself. When he does, then she’s not kidding about her problems and another imminent tantrum. It never seems to occur to Shan’ann that he might be unhappy about certain decisions because he wants to see his family just as much as she wants to see hers.

Shan’ann also provides a little insight here into something that’s been niggling at her all week.

“I practically had to ask for a kiss at the airport.”

Since she’s been badgering him and bullying him all week [over Nut Gate], she now wants a genuine explanation for what’s wrong. But whenever he genuinely asks something [like whether he can take the kids to see his parents], she jumps all over him. Is he really going to be so foolish to talk to her about something really serious, like their finances, or an affair?

On the subject of “finances”, it’s probably worth mentioning that Shan’ann confided to her mother about the extent of debt they were in. According to Sandi, a big reason for the debt they were in was due to the kids’ medical bills. [Not because of her health, because of the kids’ poor health].  This medical debt may have prompted the Rzuceks to move in with the Watts family for 15 months to help out. But imagine that – Watts spent over a year-and-a-half with his in-laws living with him, essentially dealing with two Shan’anns over that period.

When he’s back in North Carolina he’s staying with them, while being told when he might be able to see his parents, and under what conditions. A slightly unfair equation?

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“I don’t know how you fell out of love with me…”

“I just don’t see it.”

“I practically had to ask for a kiss at the airport.”

At 22:34 Shan’ann has a change of heart, and tries another, gentler approach. She tells her husband she didn’t really miss his help these last few weeks, because though exhausting, she can handle that [it’s not quite the same message in her Thrive spiels though is it?].

She goes on to tell him how much she’s missed him – his smell, his holding her and touching her. On Day 5 into their holiday, it’s a little late for that, and what happened to her warning a few hours earlier, about not dealing with or not being able to handle the pregnancy? It’s as if a switch flicks in Shan’ann’s mind right here and she suddenly remembers that her husband is a person. Her first thought is to engage him animalistically – sexually.

Clearly, given what is happening at the time, and because of his mistress, this is the last thing on Watts’ mind.

Amazingly, in the midst of telling her husband how much she misses him, she also reverts back to the tough guy, telling him in the same text if he’s not interested, if he’s done, he must tell her. She seems to be offering herself to be touched etc. but if that’s not what he wants, he must tell her.

“I NEED you to tell me!”

He knows exactly what will happen if he does tell her. If his world is radioactive now, it will be melted down to nothing if he reveals any more than the absolute minimum.

So what does he do? Watts doesn’t respond besides telling her [we find out the next morning] that he doesn’t want to lose the kids. This is how he feels. This is probably how he responds to her question [at 23:00]:

“Would you stay with me if we didn’t have kids?”

“I don’t want to lose the kids.”

It’s a loaded question that really means: have you stopped loving me – or the kids? Or more bluntly – do you still love me? He doesn’t. If he possibly can, he wants to come out of this with his daughters. But that’s not going to happen. He knows that’s not going to happen.

The biggest warning of all to Shan’ann is this moment right here: though Shan’ann’s trying to engage him in every conceivable way, Watts is sort of okay just staying in his room, letting her rage one moment, beg and plead the next. He’s made up his mind. He’s already engaging with, dreaming – secretly – of someone else.

At 23:09 Shan’ann’s still at it, but Watts is done, and likely in more ways than one.

ujk

13 thoughts on “#33 August 5th, 2018: “I don’t want to lose the kids” #1yearagotodayCW

  1. My attitude is changing about Cindy Watts now. She said early on “I just don’t see it.” She called it right. But Shan’ann went ahead with the wedding, instead of trying to repair the damage caused between herself and Chris’s family. How could she do this. Wasn’t she the least bit sensitive to how her husband must have felt not having his parents at his wedding? So we begin with that – that dismissing them as irrelevant so the show can go on and six years later it still was case. Bulldozing, badgering and bullying.

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    • She was intolerable and suffocating to say the least. I don’t know how he dealt with her for 6 hours, let alone 6 years. “Why go ahead with it?” Because Shanann needed a steady paycheck and someone to boss around. She knew that the short sale of that NC house was gonna ruin whatever credit she had left, she needed a new person to sink her hooks into. I know she cheated on her first husband with her boss and Chris, and he wasn’t the type that could be bossed around. She jumped from one relationship to the next, and it was telling that her ex never had much to say about her when asked for comment. He most likely was happy to see her go. It’s also interesting that aside from a casual acquaintance in CO or a clueless MLM hun, she had no real friends. Nobody that knew her real history, nobody from her childhood, probably because she used them to the point where they cut contact.

      I will never understand the obsession with posting every detail of your life online. It’s intrusive and you have to be extremely self centered to think people care about every minute detail. It was another way to control her husband and bully him in to fitting the mold she so desperately wanted him to fit into. I think CW would’ve had better luck in the divorce than he originally thought; CO takes parental alienation seriously. She was dumb enough to broadcast multiple instances of this online, so it wouldn’t be hard to prove. Not only that, Shan’Ann would now be divorced for the second time, with nothing but a GED/HS diploma and no steady income. She had no assets and a horrendous credit score and no job (MLMs don’t count) so they’d see she had no real way to support the kids. She wouldn’t be able to move back to her parents without CW approval (not with the kids anyway). It would’ve been a mess for sure but he wouldn’t have faired as bad as he thought.

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  2. I’m still picking through yesterday and today’s posts, they’re so juicy! I find myself a little squeamish sometimes about pointing out shannans more troublesome character traits – as if by doing so I’m suggesting in any way that it excuses what happened to her when of course it does not. But the troublesome traits are there aren’t they? Shame she was on a collision path with someone whose moral compass allowed him to actually act out what he did. Yesterday’s ranting about her role being to protect against bullies and evil is grandiose, even verging on mental disturbance. Controlling, yes. Highly strung, yes. Threatening, yes. It would be fair to say that she had issues ! You can see his thought processes might be that his life wouldn’t be worth living once the whole truth came out. And yes it would have been fought on social media etc and could have led to him being a bit of a social outcast, maybe losing his job even. It’s odd that they went on tour around the relatives when things had become this toxic..so toxic that they’re doing it by texts in separate rooms. I think she might also have spelt out the financial position as a threat at this stage – ie that if they split he’d be responsible for these debts and have to pay x amount in support – driving him further into being trapped. I think this could have led to him later ransacking the office to see if it was as bad as she said. One thing though – there’s nothing to suggest she had a personality change after they married I don’t think. So whatever is there now must have been there when they got together and was presumably ok for him.

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  3. Or maybe she had got worse. There’s some interesting stuff about when an organisation is a cult or culture. E.g. Link below

    https://adaptivecultures.co/cult-or-culture/

    It sort of describes behaviours associated with shannans “job”. Not a million miles away from how she’s now behaving in her personal life also. You can see how it would leak over.

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  4. I wonder why he’s using the craven language (and I had to look that word up, even though I read Craven Silence!). It means cowardly. “I was hoping, if not that’s ok, if possible.” Does anyone think he might be having her on? I mean, he has a very big secret of his own, and it could be he’s taking a sort of delight in keeping it from his ball buster wife. Just a thought.

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    • maybe so – or sarcasm that passed her by. Your comment also made me wonder if he was just humoring her because he’s thinking whatever she says won’t matter much soon and taking satisfaction from knowing that, though maybe he’s not at that point yet.

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    • YES, Sylvester!

      He was a master of the passive-aggressive. She was just aggressive. Here’s something to think about, hope you’re not offended that Ai borrowed it from the BDSM community. I think Chris was “topping from the bottom”:

      “Topping from the bottom is when a submissive tries to control the scene by manipulating the dominant into certain acts or attitudes. This usually happens not because the bottom wants to dominate, but rather because they want to be dominated differently or more intensely. It is often the symptom of a disconnection between the submissive’s desires and the dominant’s techniques.”

      Or, put another way, he was taking his ball and going home.

      She was thrown off by his refusal to play by her rules anymore. When he did that groveling, he was gaslighting her. Letting her think she had the upper hand again.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Interesting. Never would have thought that. Very interesting. I also think they were a total mismatch from the start and he didn’t have the life experience to know any better. They lasted way too long. Sad sad sad case.

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  5. He may have harbored a secret sort of glee at hearing the rants and ultimatums, (from another room in the same house) becoming immune to them knowing in his mind he had moved on, totally and completely, although not legally of course. If he had gone to NC a little confused as to what he had been doing back in Frederick and what he had waiting for him in NC, a family, seeing his wife again, seeing her fixated on the nut incident, likely removed all doubt that any kind of an agreement could be reached such that having to beg to see his grandmother and parents were the old Watts, not the new Watts he had become in his own mind. He had a secret world, she didn’t know about it, he wasn’t going to tell her about it, and it was his power. I think his days of being nervous around her, cowed by her maneuverings, were coming to an end. Silence was his power. Cow-towing was the act. That and placating.

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  6. This lady did not deserve to die. What she did deserve was a MEGA NUCLEAR LIFE LESSON on how to live her life like a normal person and to quit the BS she lived through day after day. I feel frustrated at how both she and CW could have learned so many much-needed lessons in life. She was a PAIN to live with and he was, essentially, a cognitive dissonant moron. They were a recipe for disaster exacerbated by enabling parents who kept things status quo for everybody.

    All I am saying is that I feel terrible for SW and the kids. It’s evil and brutal to kill any one.

    I wish though that she had been spared and had gone through her life lessons to realize her horrid mistakes, atone to them, and become a better person.

    Same with that idiot Chris Watts POS. He needed to come forth with his weaknesses and face that Goliath of a wife and open his mouth and tell her to F off and leave him alone.

    But the more I read into this, the more I realize that there was a NO EXIT clause for these two idiots. I’ve seen so many couples so similar to these two.

    The murder factor will always make me wonder wtf went through CWs head. Sometimes I think he just snapped. And, to be quite frank, sometimes I can see why.

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